BY ABOUT NOON on Monday, the easiest option for Barbara Young would have simply been to tape a sign on her sweater that stated: ``No I didn't.''

Did the newlywed encourage her husband, Steve, to retire? No she didn't. When she learned she was pregnant, did she give him an ultimatum? No she didn't.

``If he wanted to play, I was behind him 100 percent,'' said Barbara, patiently answering every question. ``I'm 100 percent behind everything he does. He's like Superman to me.''

Superman took off his cape Monday. Steve Young retired from football in a remarkably civilized manner. He said goodbye in the 49ers' locker room, whose occupants he once had to win over. On Monday it was packed with people who love and admire him.

He brought together the estranged -- Denise DeBartolo York, Eddie DeBartolo and Carmen Policy all sat together. He was gracious and composed and very much at peace.

``I felt this in my heart,'' Young said.

Barbara, who was elegantly fighting back morning sickness, didn't make this happen. But the transition is so much easier, the timing is so much better, because Young has a family.

Young could step out of one life because -- finally -- he could step into another.

``I know I can still play,'' Young said at Monday's farewell. ``Do I want to play? Absolutely. Is it the right time to retire? Absolutely.''

The decision came without pro-and-con lists or coin flips. He didn't need the opinion of the masses, though he got it. Just Sunday night the baggage handler at the Phoenix airport weighed in with his 2 cents. And the decision didn't come at Barbara's insistence.

It came slowly, rolling over Young until finally he felt comfortable 10 days ago.

``The decision just settled on me,'' Young said. ``I count myself as a spiritual man. I do this with a lot of joy.''

And so Monday was a joyful celebration, a retrospect of a great career that won't end with bitterness, or a different uniform, or another blow to the head.

Perhaps the most joyous in the crowd was Sherry Young, Steve's mother. She has cringed at football's brutality from the time Steve was 8 and she charged the Pop Warner field to pull a tackler off her baby boy.

On Monday, Steve joked that, if allowed, Sherry would still charge fields in the NFL, pulling 300-pound defenders off Young.

Instead of charging, she ran away. While her husband, Grit, watched 49ers games at home, Sherry pulled on her running shoes and took off, hoping to avoid witnessing any more damage to her son. She's going to have to look elsewhere for workout motivation.

``It's going to be wonderful this year not having every Saturday with a cloud hanging over my head, waiting for Sunday,'' she said.

Not all of Young's family felt such relief.

``If he was being totally honest, my dad would tell me to walk over there and put the pads on,'' Young said, gesturing to his locker. ``He'd say, `Go out there and be a man.' ''

But not Mom. For years, Sherry's advice was, ``Get a life, get a wife.'' And he tried. He had two failed engagements, another relationship that ended badly. For all his confidence and all his accomplishments, Young was a very lonely guy.

``One day, during the 1998 season, he called me after practice,'' said Tyde Tanner, who roomed with Young at BYU. ``He was really down, bummed out and so lonely.''

The next day, Tanner -- who works in advertising in Phoenix -- ran into his old friend Barbara Graham, who was modeling for a photo shoot. She was single, beautiful, smart.

For two months Tanner tried to set up Graham and Young, but both were reluctant.

Graham, 31, wasn't a football fan. She had never even paid attention to the Super Bowl, until her fiance worked in the broadcast booth at Super Bowl XXXIV. She had a negative stereotype of athletes.

``All that fame and money,'' she said. ``I didn't want to raise a family in that environment. I didn't know there was someone like Steve.''

They finally agreed to a date in January 1999. Tanner, who was along with his wife, wanted a sign if things were going well. He'd ask about a stock and if Young said the stock was at 10, then things were clicking. Anything lower and Tanner's matchmaking was sputtering. During the evening, Tanner posed the question.

``The stock's run all the way to 20,'' Young replied.

The couple spent hours talking. On later dates, they would pull into a restaurant parking lot early in the evening, sit in the car lost in conversation, finally emerging only to find that the restaurant had closed.

``I thought, `Who is this man who is so philosophical, so intelligent?' '' Barbara said.

She saw him play just two games. At the first one, a home game against New Orleans in the second week of the 1999 season, she watched Steve get pummeled.

``That New Orleans game was pretty bad,'' she said. ``I asked him, `Is this how it always is?' He said it wasn't.''

But things got worse the next week, in Barbara's home state of Arizona. In the second quarter, Young was hit and collapsed, unconscious on the field. And the long process began.

Barbara went to Young's doctors' appointments. She heard the positive reports. She didn't worry.

``I had three concussions as a child, from snow skiing,'' she said. ``It's so common.''

``To her credit, she wasn't afraid to go for more,'' Young said. ``At one point she said, `Let's go play some ball.' ''

But the decision could wait. There was a wedding in Hawaii -- Barbara converted to the Mormon faith. The couple went on a long honeymoon, which was cut short by the death of Young's grandfather. By the time they got home, Barbara was feeling queasy. ``It feels like I'm on the teacups at Disneyland,'' she said.

Suddenly, there were more doctors' appointments, ones that had nothing to do with Young's head.

The baby is due in mid-December, right around the 49ers' 15th game of the season. Young will have plenty to think about other than his former team.

Barbara got an up-close look at how crazy her life could be Monday, when reporters swarmed her after Young concluded his remarks. All she really wanted was something to eat to make her stomach feel better. Still, Barbara was overwhelmed at the love and respect her husband received.

``This has been such a sentimental time,'' she said. On Saturday, the Youngs had a belated wedding reception in Phoenix with Barbara's family. Today, they're flying to Utah and on Saturday will have another reception with Young's friends from BYU.

This is a time of celebration, of a new chapter in Young's life.

The man who has given so much of his body to the 49ers has at last found a different place for his heart.